Life Swap
by Allan Yashin
I saw your neon sign in the window and I must say I was intrigued
Yes, thank you, we’ve just opened this branch in this area.
So can you explain just how it works. . . . I haven’t seen anything quite like it before. . . . NEW LIVES FOR SALE.
You see, we’ve tapped into the growing market of discontent out there. So many people nowadays dissatisfied with their jobs and relationships . . . or lack of them.
True, I've read more Americans are not in committed relationships than ever before.
Or, I must add, in ones they’d like to leave but don’t have the resources to do so. And so many others are bored or frustrated and just want a new start in life.
But, please, I don’t understand. How do you offer new lives to people?
Well, think of us as a matchmaking service. We pair people who are looking for a life that another one of our clients has and we arrange a swap. . . .
That sounds impossible
Oh, not anymore with AI technology. . . . It’s relatively easy to change all existing documentation so that you actually assume the other person’s identity . . . and for a membership upgrade our surgical division can alter appearances so you’ll go unnoticed as a Life Swap participant
Hmm . . . so if I did want to become a member what would I have to do to swap lives?
Glad you asked. . . . You have to give us entrée into your entire personal and professional portfolio
Really?
We have to decide if you have enough ”going for you” that someone else would want to swap lives with you.
Well, I have a graduate degree in English and have a civil-service job.
That’s nice and stable. . . .
And I live in a studio in Williamsburg.
Hmm . . . yes, Williamsburg, very desirable nowadays. Anything else I can jot down in your folder?
I’m an unpublished author.
Oh I am so sorry. . . . We’ve got a rather long waiting list already of unpublished authors wanting to swap lives. Thank you for dropping by.
Allan Yashin is a writer, performer, and storyteller who has had more than fifty of his plays, including four musicals written with Norman Zamcheck, performed in New York. Allan co-wrote the play collection, with Milton Polsky, Cry a Little Laugh a Lot . . . , and his novel Protected is available on Amazon.
